Try showing that ‘certificate of participation’ at your first job interview, and see how much weight it carries. The truth? Honesty is a must, perfection is a myth, and failure is your friend.
Students
have been trained from an alarmingly young age to believe that as long as they
show up, they should be rewarded—and that is lulling them into a false sense of
security.
After
all, simply being there isn’t the same as contributing, and participating isn’t
the same as succeeding. No one will be rewarded for just showing up in the real
world.
Success
isn’t found inside a rubric. It certainly isn’t something achieved without a
few experiments, mistakes, and failures along the way. Here are seven common
lies that young people hear growing up—and the blunt, uncensored truths behind
them:
1.
You’re amazing at everything you do.
Any
5-year-old will tell you it’s not polite to hurt a person’s feelings. Instead,
society sells us a lie, because apparently it’s better to tell someone she’s
great than tell the truth when she isn’t. We think we’ll stunt growth if we
tell the cold truth; in reality, we’re stunting growth by handing everyone a
participation trophy instead of rewarding real talent and achievement.
Beyond
that, it’s much more traumatic when, after 20-something years, someone finally
tells you that you’re not as amazing as you thought. Here’s an example: I teach
college, and after completing their first college-level course, many students
tell me, “This is the first C I’ve ever gotten.” My response? “Welcome to
college.” Why? An A isn’t something that you’re entitled to; it’s something you
earn.
2. You
have to be perfect.
Failure
is a great teacher. You don’t learn anything if you go through life being told
you’re perfect. Writer and director Kevin Smith put it best when he said, “The
truth is…failure is success training.”
So you
don’t have a 4.0? That’s OK. Don’t have a job lined up right after graduation?
That’s OK, too. You don’t need a perfect track record, grade point average, or
plan to make a good career and life for yourself. You just need the
perseverance, bravery, and grit to forge a path for yourself.
3. You
have to be married before you’re 30.
College
isn’t for everyone. Neither is marriage. Need proof? Just look at the divorce
rate. There’s a lot of societal pressure to find the perfect person to spend
your life with by a certain age. It’s completely arbitrary—and for a lot of
people, it’s completely wrong.
Don’t
force it. Don’t stress. And don’t buy into the myth; not everyone is ready for
marriage by age 30.
4.
You’ll succeed only if you go to the right college.
Success
comes from all walks of life. Today, there’s unbelievable pressure on students
to get admitted to their first-choice college. Give yourself a little more
credit. It might require some work, but you can succeed in all different kinds
of environments.
5. You
can get a great job by just having a degree.
Some of
the most valuable lessons are learned outside the classroom. Before you graduate,
get involved, intern, study abroad, and network. Employers are looking for
students who did more than just sit through four years of classes.
6. Your
first job defines your career.
College
graduates often buy into the “perfect first job” myth. They think they need to
be in the right place at the right time right after graduation. That isn’t
true.
My
first job was pushing carts at Walmart. Skills and lessons are transferable,
especially the ones you learn during your first job out of college. Those
lessons will get you all kinds of places—including your dream job.
7.
You’ll be in a better financial place than your parents—immediately.
Many millennial
are incredibly sheltered. Some don’t even know what their parents do; they
think the money just shows up. When you begin your career, you’ll have to work
hard. You’ll have to put in time and pay your dues.
Don’t
expect to live the same lifestyle that took your parents 20 years to achieve.
Make peace now with the fact that the Baby Boomers have gobbled everything up from
the table and you are now on your own to thrive.
Find
your own truth
Society,
peer groups and the media may have good intentions, but they often reinforce
these seven lies.
